Taxies and Subways

Transitions

2011-01-02T13:50:00.003-06:00

I feel like transitions can be a little strange. They can be tiring or confusing or just different. They can be sad, but also exciting. I feel like I’ve learned a lot from times of transition. God usually uses transitions to teach me about trusting him.

This time from Clarkston back to Texas is no different. I was lying in bed the other night not able to sleep. I was trying to escape all the thoughts that were nagging at me. I talked through some things with God, but I was still lying there feeling restless and little frustrated and lonely. My whole body was tired and my spirit ached. I felt confused too.

That’s when God brought this story to my mind that I had been memorizing. Now I’ve heard this story my whole life. I’ve always thought it was a pretty cool story, but it had never pierced my heart like it did that night. I sat up strait in my bed and started telling this story to myself-the story of how God created the world. It starts out “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. And God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light.”

My whole self was filled with awe. I had only memorized up to day three where God created land and plants, but I had to keep going. So I started reading and memorizing day four where God created the sun and the moon and the stars. My soul was just gushing over the beauty of God so I had to keep going! So I went on to day five where God creates the creatures that live in the sea and birds! I think I was getting pretty excited at this point. My sister knocked on my door to ask who I was talking to so I told her the story.

After all of that it was time to rest in the peace that only comes from knowing the creator of the world. I still couldn’t sleep. I had too much to praise God for. Instead of all those other not so great feelings, I was thankful. I looked at my phone and realized it 5:30. I tried to sleep again, but I gave up when sun light started filling my room.

I don't know

2010-10-02T16:25:00.005-05:00

2 months down… time as always is moving fast! Things here are going great! I’m being ruined a little more every day which is awesome!

One of the videos in class we watched this week talked about the bigness of God. It was another wave of deep awe that washed over me.

Let’s see. I’ve been in school for the past 17 years of my life and still have a hard time remembering how to spell words like vegetables or February. How long have I been speaking English? How long have I been writing English? How long have I been listening to English? Isn’t that a humbling thing to think about? How much do I really know?

It seems like I’ve been trying to get God. I want to get him because I want to be obedient. I want to get him because I want to see him produce fruit in my life. I want to get him because some of you guys ask me questions and I want to answer with answers. God is so big, though! Why don’t I answer more questions with “I don’t know?”

I think it is part of our culture here in America and many other places, that we don’t value that answer. We look down on it. I have not been able to master my first language which I have spent the extent of my life surrounded by. How can I begin to understand the creator of all languages and more than that the creator of all beings? Even more than that, how can I understand the one who has spread out the vast universe or knows how many grains of sand line the beaches of Galveston.

Proverbs says that the fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge. So I want to come and know the LORD more with reverence and awe. Consider with me our great inadequacy to understand the complexity of the creator all things.

Clarkston

2010-08-21T22:13:00.003-05:00

I’ve been here in Clarkston for about three weeks now. Clarkston? Yea I know I’ve been saying Atlanta the whole time, but let me explain. We’re living and doing life in an area right outside of Atlanta called Clarkston. Clarkston is a small chuck of the world that is filled with refugees from all over the world like Nepal, Burma, Afghanistan, Ethiopia, Eritrea, Iraq, Pakistan, Iran, Sudan, and Somalia. I could keep going, but you get the point. The world has come to us here in Clarkston, and it is exciting and challenging to do life here.

A lot of you guys have been asking me questions about what this school looks like. I’m at a school with Global Frontier Missions called a missionary training school. In the mornings we have class and the afternoons are filled with studying and hanging out with the people of Clarkston. Our hope is that while we are training we will also be reaching out and sharing who God is and how much he loves the people here.

This past week was a little bit different, because instead of classes and outreach we got away and prayed and fasted for four days. This was a time to exam our hearts and let God convict us in areas where we have wronged him. It was also a time to seek direction for our time in Clarkston and after.

Is this a strange concept to you? Fasting and confessing sin? They are not disciplines I considered growing up when I desired to have greater intimacy with God. Let me tell you guys, though, this past week was amazing! I got some good direction in areas I have been praying about for a long time, and I definitely needed to be freed from some things I’ve let slip into my life.

I thought about blogging why fasting and confessing sin is biblical for the follower of Jesus and pulling out some scripture that God has been showing me. Talking to you guys, though, a lot of you were already sold on the value of both, but were really hesitant to consider practicing either. I just want to encourage you guys with what I have to be constantly relearning. We got to check ourselves. If you are a follower of Jesus, the Spirit is going to want to do big things in your life. Let’s remember when we read our Bible and the Spirit is getting at our heart to not say “That’s great, but I don’t feel called to do that.” It’s not faith when we act out on what we think we can do. Let’s not limit our big God. Let’s be the branch that is completely surrendered and dependent on the vine and see fruit in our lives (John 15).

This is going to be an awesome week coming up! Look forwards to some great stories of what God is up to here in Clarkston.

One last thing, I want to give a shout out to you guys back home. I’ve felt so loved by all of your texts, messages, and calls. Thank you for reaching out to me and checking up on me. I love you guys!

5 states, 32 license plates

2010-08-01T20:52:00.007-05:00

I made it to Atlanta yesterday. I drove through 5 states a saw license plates from 32 different states. Here is a taste of the very long road trip to get here! Thanks every one who blessed me with friendship, food, and lodging along the way!

At the Beach

2010-07-25T13:04:00.014-05:00

This weekend I got to stay at my aunt’s place in Galveston with my sister, aunt, and gramie. It was a great chance to spend time with family before I head out to Atlanta this week. I’ve been excited but also a little nervous about the fall. Walking along the empty beach in the evenings, God relaxed me. The moon was almost full and was the only light on our beach. The black water met the black sky and the waves and light conversation were the only noise. I loved it! Here are some pictures from the weekend.

If given a choice, I would choice the almost green waters of Galveston over the more sought after blue waters of Florida or Mexico. I love this side of the gulf. I grew up here.

Hurricane Ike hit Galveston almost two years ago. It was only a category two storm, but the amount and force at which the water hit the coast caused a lot of damage. When I was in Galveston last I could see how far the water came in the island by the line where the healthy tress met the dead trees. When you drove around you could see big orange Xs to mark the trees to be cut down. It was depressing. The island is starting to bounce back. Many businesses are back and there are new houses. Artists have come in and carved pieces out of the stumps of some of the dead trees. I think there are about 50 around the island. These two above were my favorite. Aren't they cool?

Sweek on the Sweek

2010-07-15T17:04:00.004-05:00

I’ve been going through a lot of old stuff this summer trying to get rid of as much as possible. I want to get it down to where I only have 5 or 6 boxes at my parents' place so I will be ready to go back overseas within this next year. This past week I ran across a diary I kept in second grade. My horrible spelling makes it read like a book in another language, but I decoded two of my favorite entries for guys. If you have had to edit any of my recent papers, you know my spelling is still not great but thankfully it has improved a lot!

I wrote: to day I witi to daycare and sweek on The sweek and seed socse form The Sada a Mosice and Woch Nech Trees!

Translation: Today I went to daycare and swung on the swings and sang songs from the sound of music and watched (I don’t know what to make of “Nech”) trees!

I wrote: to day I went on a trip to San Antonio and Vist wite pepol That I never mit and spin a nite at The hotetile and went on a boate

Translation: Today I went on a trip to San Antonio and visited with people that I never met and spent a night at the hotel and went on a boat. (I think my mom helped me with some of the bigger words)

Keeping an Eye on the Coast

2010-06-29T22:16:00.002-05:00

There is still some love for creativity that was not yanked out after a cruel year of being an art student. That part has made me uncomfortable every time I’ve sat down to post something. I feel freedom to post again now that I have recreated this page and it looks so much more like me. Yay!

I’m enjoying the luxuries of being in my hometown this summer with my family. In addition to being able to hang out with my family, there is a newspaper on the table every morning and doing my laundry doesn’t require quarters. I don’t have to plan every meal and I can watch a movie on a screen bigger than my computer. I think I’m becoming spoiled… Hopefully not because in a month I’m moving out again to go to a school in Atlanta. More about that later…
I promise I’m going to start posting again! Plus I’m saving up to replace my camera that I've managed to break so maybe I’ll start posting pictures too! Well maybe… One step at a time.

Culture Shock

2010-02-01T13:23:00.002-06:00

Spending sometime overseas has taught me to expect an exhausting phenomenon we know as culture shock. It is normally a symptom of travels achieved by long plane rides and extended stays in new places. What I learned this week was culture shock can be just as felt without the plane ride and new country. I had no clue that walking into my first Chin apartment would bring back waves of this familiar feeling.

Now I guess I should catch some of you guys up who have been keeping up with me mainly through this blog. My major is all about getting into the community and working with families. Yes there are specialties within my major that lead to people doing family research or administrative work for family related services. Really though, I think we can all agree that those areas would not work well with my personality. For my internship, then, I was looking for a chance to apply what I’ve been learning in a hands on, cross-culture setting. Here’s where the Chin Refugee Ministry comes in. The Chin people are a group from Myanmar who are pouring into this area as refugees. The first Chin who became a Christian was baptized in 1904 and now most of the Chin people will tell you they are a Christian. The needs of the Chin refugees are nothing short than overwhelming, but they are a constant testament to Philippians 4:19 that says “God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” Right now I’m still meeting them and learning about their lives and how they think. I’m working on the culture shock thing too.

Walking into this internship the verse that God pressed on my heart was Galatians 6:9-10. It says, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” I’m excited that my major has shaped another opportunity to do good and especially to brothers and sisters from Myanmar. I’m sure throughout this semester I’ll be writing more about God’s handy work in their lives. For now I should get back to the homework. This is the part where I moan and look around for an excuse to do something else.

Between sneezes

2009-12-13T18:53:00.002-06:00

Today was the day of the half marathon that I was going to run with friends here, but instead I’m inside going through a box of tissue and counting down the hours before I can take more Dayquil. Wow, I reminded again of how weak I am. My throat got a little scratchy yesterday afternoon, but I thought some sleep and Vitamin C would take care of that. I went to bed early with my running clothes laid out, my bib number and shoes next to that. Around one o’clock I gave up any attempt to sleep. What was the point? Because at one I realized that the now flaming throat and new symptoms of discomfort were nothing more or less than a cold that would keep me from resting enough to travel 13 miles with my now aching body. I was wide awake mainly because of the sneezing so I dragged my poor little body to the couch to pout.

I really wanted to do this thing, but no matter how much or little I trained and for how long it didn’t matter. All that it took to take me down was a couple of germs maybe picked up on a door knob or greeting a new acquaintance.

That’s when I realized the perfect teacher was taking advantage of a moment that we in the world of education call a “teachable moment.” Yes I laughed when I wrote that last sentence. Anyways…I was reminded again of how strong and mighty my God is, because before I was even born he knew that the race of life I would run would be marked by greater weaknesses than just colds. He knew my sin would cripple me and so he ran the race for me. He didn’t just complete it. He had complete victory. Because of his victory, I have victory too. Thank you, God, for being mighty to save. He freed me to run the greater of these two races with my eyes fixed on him as the author and perfecter of faith. That’s a cool thing to remember. It is good for me to be reminded that the outcome of this life race has not been determined by my own performance, but instead it has been secured by the victory already obtained by my Savior.

That’s the reason I can have joy today and celebrate between the sneezes…

By the way, I am so proud of my friends who did this race today! It is a big accomplishment and I can’t wait to see the pictures! Congrats! You guys are great!

Staying dry at a local coffee shop...

2009-10-26T20:24:00.005-05:00

I couldn't stay in my apartment to study today. The rain makes me completely stir crazy. Don't be to concerned, though, a good cup of tea in this crowded coffee shop has made it easy to get things done. Across the table is my friend Nami who happened to be here when I came. I've enjoyed seeing several friends pass through getting coffee and several others joining a group upstairs to do church. I need to remember to do this more often.

I'm back into a healthy rhythm after midterms. I'm going to start apply to internships the next few weeks and in preparation I've bought a dress to interview in. It is really the first big girl dress I've had. Of course, I've dressed for many weddings and showers at this point, but up to this point I could get away with simple dresses that don't need to much ironing. I feel a little older which amusing me.

Things at the B have been different this semester. Many of the changes have been very good like the emphasis on prayer. Almost every day at the B starts out with prayer at 9:30 followed by countless times over the week where we pray. Some of the freshmen wanted us to start praying before Worldlife and so we are doing that. The prayer team has been encouraging freshman to open up their dorm rooms to pray and so some groups meet there. I love it! I love seeing the Church here become more burdened for prayer.

College towns are so fluid. I consider it a blessing to do life here and be part of this body of Christians. It is neat also as I'm finishing up here to see new faces stepping in and being invested in while also investing in others. After two years of leading groups at Worldlife, it is to cool to be part of mobilizing new freshman to teach and build relationships for the purpose of sharing how good this God is who we serve.

Senioritis is in full swing and the rain has become a familiar friend. All of which makes it hard sometimes to be motivated. I'm praying that I would finish this last year at school strong. If it sounds like I'm leaving tomorrow, don't worry I'm not, but time sure is moving fast.

Voice

2009-10-19T00:14:00.001-05:00

So why such a long break between posts? Have I already become bored with blogging? Is this yet another goodbye after a fling with a creative medium? Actually, I haven’t written in a while, because I’ve just confused myself about what to share. Rewinding to my first post I said I wanted to write to stay connected to people and also to get myself writing in the first place. The problem with that is it very vague. Bopping around from place to place, I’d like a way to share like the update letters I got to send back to the home state when I was in Mexico and Thailand. Where as right now there is not an incredible need for me to have a way update, I need to get in the habit. So here is me refocusing, and trying to fight the urge to simply blog all the feelings and fluff that bores even me when I reread it a month down the road. Of course I like to read other blogs with feelings and fluff. I just tend not to be as poetic as I could be. I’m sure if this was an assignment turned into a writing class my teacher would simplify all of this by saying I’m trying to find my “voice.”

Peace

2009-09-04T17:12:00.000-05:00

I write this sitting on the couch with peace that saturates and seems to almost press in on me. Today hasn’t been extraordinary. I could even find things to complain about like the cloudy sky or my contacts that don’t seem to want to stay in today. I still physical hurt from the aerobics class and my heart has been broken again today by another family member who has decided they don’t want to be part of my life. Still nothing can separate me from the love of Jesus, and so circumstances is not fuels this peace.

Everybody is back in town from the summer, and we have been able to welcome and make friends with so many new people. I am so encouraged by the renewed passion for prayer and also seeing so many guys leading and stepping out. God has been just pouring out his spirit on this place and so I am one of the many who is waiting in expectation to see the hand of my God work. I like following this God who goodness is constant and who is always at work even when I don’t see it.

It’s been said before and I’ll take the liberty to say it again. Following this God who is constantly good and who is always at work does not equal an easy life. This past two weeks has been hard in some ways. Following Jesus, like a lot of you guys know, means not yielding to your own desires but instead yielding to the desires of God. Something that I’m learning is that me letting God’s desires shape my life does not just affect me. Also, it does not just affect others in ways that are always warm and fuzzy. Like yes it’s cool when following Christ means I get walk into class and tell someone that there is this God who loves them. It’s not warm and fuzzy, though, when family decides you following Christ means you’re not respecting their desires for your life. Their response is not always pretty. I know it’s because they love me so much and they have values that they view as good and right. It’s scary for them for me not to pursue what is in their mind good things. So I’m in this hard place again and I know that this story has played out in tons of Christians’ life. So again I sit here with this overwhelming since of peace. My God is always good and he is always working to complete what he started. Love you guys!

A Rough Sketch of Things

2009-08-24T22:19:00.008-05:00

(Written earlier today)
Classes start on Thursday so this week is of course filled to the brim with wonderful things, but this morning I got to wake up in Houston. Today is my sister’s birthday, and while she is at school and the rest of the family at work I’ve got to run around and get some things done. I wanted to pause, though, and share with you guys some of what I shared with my dad last night about what this year might look like for me.

The story is still the same for after graduation as it is today. I will go wherever God wants me for however long God wants me there. I will do whatever he tells me to do in whatever place he puts me in. What does that actually look like in my life? The past couple of years that has looked like going to school with summers overseas sandwiched in between. Now that graduation is getting closer I’m continuing to look into a lot of things. I think there will be times like in Paul’s life where I will have a source of income from working, but there will also be times when God uses others to meet my needs financially. There will probably be some time overseas and some in the states. This year I’m preparing my heart and my life in a practical way to go wherever and do whatever God leads.

Sounds almost adventurous and it would be very easy to romanticize that idea and I have at times. Really though it is hard now that things are coming together and my faith is being challenged. Like last night, my dad looked at my car to figure out why the air conditioner has been making a weird noise and he think my air conditioner may not have many months left. So what do I do? Do I look into buying a used car? If God has me here for awhile than I need a car. If God doesn’t have me here much longer than is my car going to make it? God can make my car last. If he wants me to get another car, that would make money tight, but I also have to trust his timing and his provision. I’m seeking God’s wisdom out on this one right now.

All this is of course is just a rough sketch of things. Like those still life pieces I used to have to draw, it is going to take time to really look at the thing before me to be able to understand and capture it in full color and texture. I can't just glance and be able to render the object in full detail. I could never really get the hang of enjoying drawing, but this is different. I really am excited about starting this fall and seeing what God is up to in my life and the lives around me.

Starting the Dialogue

2009-08-21T11:19:00.001-05:00

I would like to join the many who have confessed an addiction to reading blogs. I love the raw stories that need no publisher to back them or a formal newsletter to feature them. I love that they are free and easy to find. I love that blogs are open for anyone to read or write. They are so accessible and so real. So here is mine to add to the mix. I warn you guys up front that there will be many grammar and spelling mistakes. Knowing me, there will be some excessively long stories and there might be some large gaps between posts. Really I start to blog for two reasons. The first being that in college I’ve got to make some great friends that spread out all over the place and I know that there will be more made throughout life that reside in even further corners of the world. This is one of those attempts to stay connected. The second reason is I don’t write unless I’m writing to someone. So if I want to look back and see the faithfulness of God in my life I need to also share it with others in a written form. So there you go. This part of the story begins with a week before my last year at the university and hopeful it will not end 6 months later when the idea of a blog is not as fresh.